Tell it, gurrrrl….
Uh huh…That’s right. That’s what she said. Last Saturday. I tell you she did.
Her statement is one I will happily remember for a long, long time. Now, as for that man of mine (since her comment was directed at him), well….
Ladies, why is that because we want the best for our mates, regarding dietary matters, we are referred to as “mean”, by the very mates we want the best for?! What is that about?
In our not agreeing to their selection of a downright, ridiculous, HUGE bag of refined sugar (aka candy, crap, fake food…), we are deemed as eeeeeevil and mean! Okay, rewind, what does ‘mean’ really mean? Well, one (that man of mine) may view it as selfish, cruel, base, and unkind. Whereas another (myself) sees it as excellent, as in “she makes a mean three bean chili!”
I am excellent at many things, as you and you and you….are as well. We are filled with gifts and talents that make us mean (excellent) beings. For instance, I am one mean health coach, supporting individuals to make healthier choices on a daily basis for short and long term benefits. Thus, I am ‘mean’ in helping my own mate make better choices that have resulted in a 20-pound weight loss in addition to a significant drop in his total cholesterol. So yes, I am proudly ‘mean’!
But his take on mean puts limits on understanding my definition of mean. “You’re so mean”, period. There is no room left for understanding why I do not agree with his choice of ‘food’. It’s more than my not liking it, period, but what such an item will do to his mood, his waist, and his overall health. And my guess is he may not like the results. This of course is solely an assumption based on previous episodes of “Babe, why didn’t you stop me. I feel awful.” Since then, I’ve listened, and now take action. How is that mean? No partner wants his/her mate to experience that eventual stress, especially when an opportunity of intervention presents itself: “No. That HUGE bag of candy is not going into our shopping cart. It’ll make us sick–literally!”
Well, who knew that my intervention to his poor selection would be supported by a complete stranger, who happened to overhear his “You’re so mean” comment directed at me. I wanted to high-5 her right then and there! Her “woman are never mean” remark rightfully attacked his definition of mean, and surely such negative thinking is to be put in its place–called out, smacked silly, and erased!
“Turn that frown upside down, Love. I’m onto something here, as in bettering your health.” Reality check during a fleeting moment of candyland fantasy. Though in that moment, he does not want to hear it, any of it, and I understand. Hey, I once was a serious sugar addict myself!
Still, his statement is one I couldn’t take to heart and snarl at. I simply interpreted his ‘mean’ to mean that I care enough to NOT see him make unwise choices in both his diet and lifestyle. So then, call me Mrs. Mean! Yes sir, I make a mean spouse!
Ladies, high-5s all around!